The idea of home
This past week I attempted to move my entire life, around the corner, up six floors, into my (and my boyfriends) very own apartment. Josh has a van, so we thought, let's save some dough and just do it ourselves. Bold move. I've come to realise, it's worth throwing money at the situation, and hiring two men and a truck, to move your life packed away in boxes.
After what felt like a long, painful process, we're officially in. Boxes have began to be unpacked, furniture arranged, knick-knacks displayed – it's starting to feel like home. H O M E.
I haven't had a 'home' since, well, I moved out of the house I lived in for 20-odd years of my life. Growing up, my family never moved house, we just built on the one we had. We had three renovated kitchens, one upscaled second-story, one unexpected brother (yes mum – we're aware), four bedroom relocations, and one bungalow serving as an extra bedroom build. The idea of 'home' for me, was one space. I never had to create a home, because home, was always there.
The day I moved out of my family home, it was raining. My mum and her brother helped me lug what little I owned 40 minutes on the other side of Melbourne to my new 'home'. A beautiful huge art-deco house shared between myself and two other girls I didn't know well at the time. My mum and uncle helped unpack the trailer and make my bed. Once they left, I sunk into my brand new mattress, and sobbed. I cried for everything I was leaving behind, and the new chapter in the book we call life.
Since that moment, I haven't really felt at 'home'. To make matters more confusing, I've moved every single year since, into a new space, with new people. So as you can imagine, creating a 'home' for myself, has been difficult.
Nowadays, when I do go back to my family home, it no longer feels like 'home'. A lot has changed since I left, and now, it just feels like another space.
All this, has made me long for that feeling again. The feeling of coming home after time away, to comfort, familiarity, and ease. I cannot wait to create that with Josh – someone to share all of this and more with. Home sweet home.
Tell me, what does 'home' mean to you? Do you struggle with the notion?